Who is the greatest person that history has forgotten?

Who is the greatest person that history has forgotten?

Why none other than this charming looking fellow:

Meet US Marine Corp Major General, 11th commandant of the Marine Corp, 2 time medal of honor recipient, the Marine Corp Brevet medal, (16 medals in all, 5 for heroism)Smedley Butler. The most decorated soldier, amazing badass and #1 person who did not give a f*ck in American history.

“I spent 33 years and four months in active military service and during that period I spent most of my time as a high class muscle man for Big Business, for Wall Street and the bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism. I helped make Mexico and especially Tampico safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefit of Wall Street. I helped purify Nicaragua for the International Banking House of Brown Brothers in 1902-1912. I brought light to the Dominican Republic for the American sugar interests in 1916. I helped make Honduras right for the American fruit companies in 1903. In China in 1927 I helped see to it that Standard Oil went on its way unmolested. Looking back on it, I might have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.” 

The man was well loved by the public during his lifetime and made a habit of sticking up for the common soldier. (We’ll come back to this.) He was held in such high esteem that he was given leave from the Marine Corp to clean up Philadelphia during the prohibition as Director of Public Safety.

Following his instinctual lifelong duty to not give a f*ck he proceeded to raid 900 speakeasies in the first 48 hours! He fired corrupt policemen and reassigned whole precincts to upset protection rackets.

All this was totally cool until he raided speakeasies for the social elites. (I TOLD you he didn’t give a f*ck.) Then he became “controversial.” Well, actually he encouraged officers to kill bandits, swore on the radio used active duty marines for police duty and created checkpoints where he stopped ordinary citizens, so maybe there was something to that whole “controversial” thing after all. He was losing popularity and after two years he knew that he was about to get the boot to the posterior.

Perhaps one day things were just too calm or he was lamenting that iphones hadn’t been invented yet and was just in a bad mood. We’ll never know. In any case he had an article published stating that he had no intention of leaving and would stay and finish the job.

The mayor was furious and demanded his resignation immediately.

In response He Who Did Not Give a F*CK promptly invented trolling and tweeted this:

Cleaning up Philadelphia was worse than any battle I was ever in. #mayorkendricksucks

(Well, he would have if Twitter existed.)

Was he done yet? NO WAY JOSE!

Smedley Butler ran for the US Senate in Pennsylvania. He lost, but not before he joined the Bonus army in Washington DC (WWI veterans protesting for a bonus that they had been promised) and gave a speech about remaining non violent so that the public would remain sympathetic to their cause.

But he should have given the speech to none other than General Douglas MacArthur, who led the US Calvary against the protestors, killing several of them. Smedley Butler tweeted:

I have declared myself a "Hoover-for-Ex-President-Republican.” #MacArthurcansuckmybonus

And after that came the business plot where he saved the United States from a coup and postponed the takeover of our government by the rich and powerful until the 1980’s. Had he been alive he probably would have prevented it with a nursing home revolution, or something. I’m pretty sure he would have used Twitter.